SHEILA in the grass....

Since I have such mental blocks and can't seem to write at night, I've decided I'll keep telling my childhood stories. Maybe someone will get some enjoyment out of them. This is a story about cutting the grass. You remember me telling you that we had a huge yard in Mississippi? Well, one day I was behind the house, fooling around with the lawnmower (which I was NOT supposed to be doing!) For some reason daddy couldn't get it to crank a day or two before and so I remembered a trick I saw him do and I thought I would try it. Well, it worked and I cranked the mower! HOLY COW! I HAD BECOME A MECHANIC! This ranked right up there with Moses parting the Red Sea!!! It was only a few seconds and mama came tearing out of the house, screaming like a wounded Wildebeest! She was not happy that I had cranked the mower but I WAS! I was proud of my 8 year old self and what I had acomplished! Right about that time, she got this EVIL look in her eyes, (the look I would see often in the years to follow) and decided that since I was old enough to crank the mower, I must be old enough to cut grass! And, that's how it all started! From then on, my carefree summer days were spent mowing our 900 acre yard! At least that's how big it looked to me! Once again, me and Rhonda would divide it up into sections and decide who would cut what. This one particular day, I got in mama's closet and she had this DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, blue, lacy, party slip I had been dying to wear! It looked like the perfect lawn mowing attire so I put it on, pinned it up tight around my waist so it wouldn't fall off and headed out to earn my slave wages! I began mowing in my same old boring pattern but it was different this time because I looked so beautiful in my dress. Then, out of the blue it hit me! Our yard was big enough that I could mow my name in the grass! How cool would that be!!! Well, off I went in my DROP DEAD GORGEOUS SLIP/DRESS! I was just about to the letter E when from behind me I heard the familiar cries of the wounded Wildebeest again! Oh my gosh! She was after me with a stick! I can't remember everything she said but I can assure you, it wasn't nice! She must have been speaking in her native tongue because I couldn't really understand her very well! I just knew she had a BIG problem with me writing out my name in the front yard! SHE NAMED ME SHEILA so I really didn't know what the big deal was! Anyway, she whipped me all the way back to the house! Then, after she beat me half to death and made me take my slip off, she made me go finish mowing! The very NERVE! It was brutal I'm telling ya! Brutal!

I LOVE my mama! She would cry like the Wildebeest many, many, MANY more times before I grew up but she never gave up on me (or any of us kids.) I exaggerate a teeeeeny bit when telling my stories because I hope it will bring laughter to the reader. If you know my mama, you will laugh for sure. I really DID try to cut my name in the yard that day and she really DID yell at me and she DID get after me with a stick and she DID make me take off the pretty slip. Oh and she DID make me finish cutting the grass so maybe I really didn't exaggerate that much after all! HA! Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the "Church House Beating!" MAN! I had a good childhood! God bless.......