Another devotion

I love my daily devotions and it never seems to fail, they speak some amazing words of wisdom I need and at the exact moment I need it. Coincidence? I think not! God is ALWAYS speaking to His children but we aren't always listening. This particular devotion, from a couple weeks ago, had a quote that was so deep (to my shallow mind that is) and it made a profound impression on me. It said, "Beware of any Christian leader who does not walk with a limp." I pondered this for some time and even though I knew in my heart what it meant, I could not get my mind to fully grasp it. To me it compared somewhat to Paul's thorn in the flesh he referred in the Scriptures. Something in Paul's life hindered him, or at least he felt as though it did. We don't know what it was that Paul agonized over and we don't need to know. Only that it was there and it was very real in his life. I truly believe we can become so haughty and full of ourselves that we become a major hindrance to our own spiritual growth. Most of you know how much I love to sing. I LOVE singing songs that allow me to vocalize things I could never put into words on my own. I LOVE singing about my Jesus! But, I have such a fear when it comes to standing in front of a crowd of people. I've often thought about asking everyone to bow their heads as if they were praying and then they wouldn't be looking directly at me while I'm singing. OR, if someone else stands with me, I can make myself believe that everyone is looking at them and not me! WOW! Pretty amazing huh? I'm just special that way! HA! Alfred refers to it as a "SHORT" in my brain! He loves me so! Anyway, what I'm getting at here is, I have BEGGED and PLEADED with God to take away that fear! I told him if He did it for me, I would praise Him like even HE wouldn't believe! Or at least that's what I thought! Truth is, I'm afraid if God took away that fear, that "thorn in my flesh" then I might begin thinking I can do this on my own! Can you understand what I'm trying to say? I don't want to get so comfortable that I feel I don't need God when I perform. When we get comfortable or complacent, we begin thinking we can do things in our own abilities. OH HEAVENS NO! I know for me personally, that would be a disaster in the making. We need to ask God to work in us amidst our thorns and inabilities. Then we can blossom into the Christian workers and leaders God has called us to be.

P.S.
And oh yeah Lord, could you take away just a teeeeeny bit of it for me.....? :) Love you all!